The Unexpected Reason for God Seeming Distant

The Unexpected Reason for God Seeming Distant

The Dark Side of My Life

By Helen Hall

Suddenly there was a brick wall in my spiritual life and I had to find out why.

I had been a Christian for over thirty years when, without warning, the inexplicable hit my spiritual life. It was as though God was never home when I called, his door was slammed shut in my face and even his phone was off the hook. I was bewildered, frustrated and alarmed. God, my best friend, was refusing to talk to me. Why?

Knowing that Psalms 66:18 says, ‘If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened,’ I searched my heart and conscience. I could find nothing that would cause the Lord to give me the silent treatment. God seemed totally disinterested in me, and he wouldn’t even tell me why! I kept begging him to tell me what had gone wrong. Finally, I felt that the Lord put it into my mind to discuss it with Mark, an elder in my church.

I sought out Mark. We chatted for about an hour, but nothing seemed to click. As he closed in prayer he said, ‘Lord, if any of Helen’s difficulty is caused by contact she has had with the occult, please show her.’

A light immediately switched on in my soul!

Yes, I had had such contact. Indeed, I had always been fascinated by the occult – that mysterious supernatural world, where people have strange powers, and can influence the lives of others; the realm of fortune-telling and séances, the paranormal, and – as Mark so clearly pointed out – the realm of Satan and his henchmen. I was stunned. Until that moment, I had had no idea that even the ‘white,’ ‘good’ side of the occult was evil.

I have often heard it said that ‘Ignorance is bliss (perfect happiness).’ But life itself teaches us that statement isn’t true. It is not bliss to be unaware that you have a large debt. It is not bliss to be unaware that you have a mental illness. It is not bliss to be unaware that you have cancer that can only be cured if treated soon.

And it is definitely not bliss to be unaware that buried deep inside you is something that could put you in grave spiritual danger.

Mark helped me see that the occult aspects of my life had opened a door through which unclean spirits could reach me. I needed to slam shut that door by specifically asking God’s forgiveness and cleansing from this defilement and making it abundantly clear to the entire spirit realm that anything to do with the occult was now off-limits to me.

Mark instructed me to go home, and ask the Holy Spirit to show me every incident in my life, whether deliberate or not, where the occult had been involved. Once I had written down everything that came to mind, I was to confess each item as sin. This, after Mark’s explanation, I could understand. What puzzled, and rather annoyed me, however, was him saying I should include in my list of sins all involvement in the occult by my parents and grandparents. Why should I confess as my sin things others had done?

Mark helped me understand by reminding me of something I couldn’t deny: in the physical realm we can inherit from our ancestors a susceptibility to a heart condition, cancer, and so on. Likewise, in the spiritual realm, he explained, we can inherit a susceptibility to demonic influence if our ancestors invited demonic activity into their lives and families by their involvement in the occult.

As Mark bluntly put it: ‘Suppose you are visiting a Head of State. As you approach the main entrance, you accidentally step in doggie dung. Are you going to leave that stuff on your shoes because you weren’t responsible for it being there? You are not to blame for the filth getting on you. Nevertheless, you should be held accountable for not doing what you could to remove it. Likewise, it is wrong to dishonor the Holy Lord by coming into his presence dirtied by the activities of unclean spirits, no matter how that soiling came about.’

The Bible is filled with the teaching that, until we do what we can to remove the contamination, God can hold us accountable not only for our own sins but for the sins of others. For example, when God brought down the walls of Jericho, the Lord instructed the Israelites to take nothing from the city but to destroy everything. It seemed a senseless waste, but it was God’s command. Just one man – Achan – secretly disobeyed by hiding a few small items in his tent. With the possible exception of his immediate family, no one knew of his sin. Nevertheless, the Lord removed his blessing from the entire nation, as if they had all sinned. Stunned and perplexed, they sought God as to why he was acting as if he were not with them. He revealed to them the sin they had had no personal involvement in it. They then took action, destroyed the hidden items that God had forbidden them to keep, and again enjoyed God’s blessing (Joshua 7).

Confessing someone else’s sins was a totally new concept to me, but Mark showed me that it is thoroughly scriptural.

Nehemiah 9:2 Then those of Israelite descent separated themselves from all foreigners, and stood and confessed their sins and the iniquities of their ancestors. (NRSV)

Daniel 9:8,16 Then those of Israelite descent separated themselves from all foreigners, and stood and confessed their sins and the iniquities of their ancestors. . .  because of our sins and the iniquities of our ancestors, Jerusalem and your people have become a disgrace among all our neighbors. (NRSV)

I was particularly moved that Daniel had prayed like this, since I know of no specific sin in Daniel’s own life.

And so I learnt that not just my sins, but the wrongful deeds of my ancestors needed to be renounced.

‘Renounce’ is a word that is not used very often these days. It means to announce your determination to have absolutely nothing to do with something you were previously associated with. You regret ever becoming involved in it and completely turn your back on it; refusing not only the unpleasant consequences, but any supposed benefits.

I drew up my list of involvement with the occult and was astonished at its length. Your list might have just one, seemingly insignificant item, but it could still affect your spiritual life.

On my mother’s side:

* Her father was a very active Freemason

* She consulted fortune-tellers and used to take me with her

* Her favorite book was a non-fiction account of witches and their activities

* She belonged to a spiritualist ‘church’ – a group that believes in making contact with the dead. This is explicitly forbidden by God:

Deuteronomy 18:10-12 Let no one be found among you who . . . consults the dead. Anyone who does these things is detestable to the LORD.

On my father’s side:

* His mother belonged to a spiritualist ‘church’

* He was an avid reader of books by a popular writer of occult fiction.

* He was a Freemason.

Many Christians see Freemasonry as just a fraternal organization, doing good works in the community. This is not the whole story, however. By such things as invoking curses on themselves if they break their Freemasonry vows, Freemasons try to contact the supernatural without going through Jesus, and this is always spiritually dangerous and offensive to God.

Having dealt with what I had inherited from my parents, I then, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, closely examined my own life.

* I, too, loved my mother’s book about witches

* I had become addicted to the same popular writer of occult fiction as my father

* I had read my ‘stars’

* I had been willing to be hypnotized – to let someone other than the Holy Spirit take control of my mind

* I was fascinated by magic. Those who deliberately, knowingly involve themselves in the occult are after two things: knowledge and power. Through the knowledge of the black magic arts, such as spells, divination, they seek to gain power to control the lives of others. All this sounded very exciting to me. I was particularly interested in astral travel, ESP (extra-sensory perception), and telepathy. I would have loved to have psychic powers.

* I loved the mythology of pagan Greece and Rome. (It was only recently that I realized that some of these legends had elements of bestiality in them – another practice that is detestable to Almighty God.)

* I had been guilty of divination – the practice of trying to foretell future events by the aid of supernatural powers. In the days before ultrasounds, while awaiting the birth of one of my children, I had put my wedding ring on a string and used it as a pendulum over my abdomen to find out the sex of my unborn baby.

* I had once owned a fortune-telling game. Having a flair for the dramatic, I was able to convince people that I was a genuine fortune-teller.

* As a child, I used to listen to a creepy radio story called, ‘The Witch’s Tale’

* Later in life I had enjoyed horror movies about the occult.

As Mark suggested, I renounced individually each item on my list. I even repented of having enjoyed an unrealistic television series that portrayed witchcraft as fun. You might think me extreme, but I now wanted to have God’s attitude to the supernatural and he does not see witchcraft as innocent fun.

God says about witches (or sorceresses) and witchcraft:

Exodus 22:18 Do not allow a sorceress to live.

Deuteronomy 18:10-11 Let no one be found among you who . . . practices divination [fortune-telling] or . . . engages in witchcraft, or casts spells.

1 Samuel 15:23 For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft . . .

Galatians 5:19-20 The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft . . .

Many Christians might view this old television series as harmless. After all, it had almost no similarity to real witchcraft. Nevertheless, I wanted to leave the spirit world in no doubt that my rejection of the occult was uncompromising. I was determined to leave no little opening where they might worm their way in, tempting me to compromise little by little until it became serious.

I had done everything on my list in ignorance and so God, in his grace, had tolerated them for a time. But in his grace he now showed me how dangerous these things are and how offensive they are to him, so that I could get rid of them, and thus stop stagnating spiritually, and enjoy even closer fellowship with my Lord.

There were also things I had to get rid of, and I knew that meant destroying them, not giving them away or selling them. These items included:

* My pendant with my ‘star’ sign

* An occult board game

* All the fiction books I had about the occult

* An Encyclopedic set about telepathy, clairvoyance, tarot cards, and so on. This set was beautifully presented, very artistic, on high quality paper, and had cost me a lot of money. Nevertheless, it had to go. And it did - into the incinerator.

Then once again I enjoyed sweet fellowship with my Lord in my everyday life. What a blessed relief!

I now know that if God hadn’t given me the silent treatment I would not have made every effort to find out what was wrong in my life and put it right. And it was only a few months later that I realized how gracious the Lord’s timing had been.

My husband and I went for a cruise to the South Sea Islands. Entertainment on board the ship included classes on Numerology, Clairvoyance, and so on. Had it not been for my new understanding I would have lapped all those up and perhaps brought myself into further bondage. Now I would sooner be infected by SARS than be involved in such things. SARS can’t damage my fellowship with God!

Mark had warned me about the possible danger of buying typical artifacts from pagan countries. Sometimes the masks and idols they sell have been prayed over with prayers offered to evil spirits. They could therefore become a source of spiritual infection. When my husband wanted to buy these artifacts, I asked him not to, but since he wasn’t born again he didn’t understand. As 1 Corinthians 2:14 says:

The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned.

From the moment I knew that my husband had these artifacts in his possession I was able to pray against them, even though I was able to destroy them only after my husband died years later.

There are other things perceived by many people, including Christians, as ‘just fun’, but , are actually occult tools of Satan. See Occult Dangers (below) for a little more on this.

Ephesians 4:30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

1 Thessalonians 5:19, 22 Do not put out the Spirit’s fire; . . . Avoid every kind of evil.

Dear reader, if there could be openings in your life to ungodly spirits because of contact you (or your ancestors) have had with the occult, please get it sorted out with the Lord now. You have everything to gain. I recommend most strongly the following webpages I wish they had been around when I was having my lean time.

NOTE: There are other reasons for God seeming distant. For insight into this, please see:

When God Seems Far Away